We are looking at a circumcision....

[Maggieinnh]

We went to a urologist last week and he told us that we probably will have to do a circumcision on our son. :sad:
When he was born we did not want to do this to him, but as we did not know any better, due to my hubby being circumcised and me not having any brothers, I took the advice that I found online and never pulled the foreskin back to loosen it from the glans, which obviously was the wrong thing to do!
When we discovered that every time our son went to the bathroom his penis would balloon up and as the problem did not solve itself, figured once he gets older the foreskin would loosen over time by itself (as everybody else seemed to suggest), we went to the doctor and he said that this needs to be looked at properly and it might be a problem.
Duhh, isn't this the reason why we come to have you do annual check up's, so you can take a look at the child's health and tell us IN TIME what to do, not when it is too late and I have to get your attention onto it in the first place!

I called my father, the only other person I know who is not circumcised and he said yes, we should have retracted the foreskin all the time to loosen it carefully over the years.
Now my son is 5 years old and we are standing in front of surgery after all. All I am doing now is to start carefully retracting the foreskin a little bit each day, as the urologist suggested that if this does not solve itself by the age of 7 he will need a circumcision, but that it looks very much like that he already has scar tissue from all the urine, which made his foreskin stick to the glans.
This is something I do not quite understand, how can urine make scar tissue, he never had any infections or the like due to the foreskin still being tight?

We are still waiting a few months on the operation, due to me being due to deliver our second child soon, I am taking this opportunity to see if we can make some changes and loosen his foreskin a bit. Does anybody else have some experience with something like this or any other suggestions I could try?

I am so upset by all this....., we did so much research before his birth to make sure that we do the right thing for him and that he would not need to be cut, but now after all these years I listened to the wrong people and we are short of a surgery after all. I just do not understand myself,..why did I not ask my father in the first place??? He would have been THE person to ask and I neglected to do so????:duh:
Sorry to be so whiny!

Maggie

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

We never retracted the foreskins of our sons ever, or at all. none of my friends with intact children ever retracted their foreskins either. :scratch:

But then, neither did their penises ever balloon up like that. Like you, I don't understand how urine could do this. Ask the doctor to explain it. Is it formation of uric crystals leading to constant scratching of the glans surface? Boys have been born for millions of years, and most never been circumcised until it became a fashion.

Okay, there are some people who do it for religious reasons, but the bit that interests me is that the "old testament" circumcision was never the same as "whip it all off" stuff. Sigh.

Anyway, I don't like getting into these sorts of "religious" dilemmas to be honest. Whatever a person's choice is, fine.

But it's like tonsils, appendixes etc, which are whipped out with cheerful abandon because, after all, they are pretty useless aren't they? I don't happen to believe that there is anything "useless" in the body, and I also don't believe that "junk" DNA is junk DNA. I happen to think it's labelled "Junk" DNA because doctors don't know what it's for. Just like they don't know what all the proteins activated by vitamin K in the body do. Are they junk proteins?

I happen to believe that every bit of the body is designed for a function, so like you, completeness is the default position.

I'd be more inclined to look at doing warm "salt penis-sitz baths" with maybe a couple of drops of swedish bitters tincture, or marigold tincture.... and using a homeopathic remedy like thiosinaminum to try to break down adhesions. Your son is also old enough to retract his own foreskin to the degree he feels comfortable with, if you explain to him, why and how. I don't see it as something you should do. He may "only" be five, but I know my youngest, at that age, didn't want me touching those bits!

[Wonder-Full]

We also never retracted my ds's foreskin back (which was following modern medical advice here in NZ to do nothing - back when my mum had my brother they were advised to retract it) and all has turned out well. Sorry to hear about what is now happening, but it seems that you haven't necessarily done anything wrong or followed wrong advice, just that as with a lot of things, there are differences in how things pan out (doesn't help you now of course, but equally, you could have created issues by retracting it kwim?).

Sending best wishes that you can help it retract on its own over the next few months.

Were you given some sort of topical cream to apply to help it retract (I have heard of that as a first option before surgery)?

[Paper Cut]

Oh dear thats not good is it... I asked my hubbys mum (haha) if she retracted the skin during his young years.. I got looked at like this :suspicious: they were never told to 'retract' 32 years ago.

Some boys are born with/develop tight foreskins however.. we have a friend with a 12 year old at the mo who has had to have his slightly cut underneath because it would roll up over the glands and get stuck there... My Ex also had the same prob and was circ'd in his early 20's .. so you can do everything in the world possible to make sure 'you've done it right' and random stuff can still jump up and bite you on the bum. Don't beat your self up over it, it can be sorted and hopefully it wont be to much of a big deal for him (the younger they are the faster that skin heals)

[bbrandonsmom]

As MT suggested, I would find out what is causing the "ballooning". Dh is not circ and never had a problem. Neither have our boys. When they urinate, the pee sort of makes a "tent", by pushing on the skin, since they don't pull back to go potty, and then they dab the tip to catch any pee drips. When they take a bath at night, they both retract themselves a little bit to get clean. Ds1 (who is 5) has been able to fully retract himself for a few years now, ds 2 can almost, but there is still a piece of skin attached. In my reading it can take boys up to 7? yrs to then fully retract, some times longer? By the time they are teens it's not a problem usually.
I'm not sure I understand the ballooning thing exactly. I got in an argument with one dr who said I "needed to retract" my boys a little every day, and if they weren't able to by the time they were 5, they would have to look into surgery. I told him he was crazy and never went back to him, and reported him to the dr who owned the practice-because that guy did not suggest retracting. The boys know how far they can retract themselves, and just by "exploring" themselves, usually come to do it on their own.

[bbrandonsmom]

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t101500.asp
Here is Dr Sears take on it. Neither of my boys are and they have no problems. (my post disappeared and then double, sorry.)

[Seaweed]

Circing was religious where I grew up so I never knew anything about it. Other than wondering why the end of the jewish boy's willy in my class when I was 5 was a funny colour but I never connected the dots until years later. Chopping the end off was kinda as bizzarre as removing a knee cap for no reason. In all my life I never came across anyone who had to be circed when they were older or who had a relative, partner etc who had to. Other than the muslim boys who got done as teens for religious reasons. So what I am saying is in your position I would keep going to a different doctor until I found someone who did not want to circ as there is no way I would do that to a child of mine. Maybe contact no harm or whatever the no circ organisation in the US is called for advice? The case against circumcision board on MDC was always very good too.

[Maggieinnh]

All these replies, do confuse me a bit now again, but also give me some hope. The one link you sent me bbrandonsmom says that the child should be able to retract his foreskin by the age of three and another suggests that it can take some boys up into puberty to fully retract their foreskin. The 'tent' thing seems to fit with my son as well, the tip of his penis can retract a bit more now than it used to be a few months ago, but his foreskin does enlarge while he pees, than he dap's the pee drips off the end but never retracts while he pees. I am sorry that I can not explain the ballooning/ tent thing any better.
Maybe I can get some more info together and send that reading list to hubby and have him convinced to wait a bit longer and see what happens, after all the urologist suggested it can still change until age seven.

Wonder-full, in regards to a topical cream that could help, I had the same thought, but the urologist said there is nothing, not that I take it all as true what he said, especially since this whole scar- tissue suggestion, but I guess I will have to find something on my own, ... as usual, and I will definitely try what you have suggested Hilary!!!
The other warning sign with this urologist came about when he mentioned to my husband on the side that he also is the robotic surgery guy in the hospital, ...'surgeons' beware of that lot! Like you said Hilary, they do have a tendency to remove "unnecessary" things....
For me surgery is the last route out of a problem, after all that is the point of no return.

Thank you all so much for your reassuring advice, maybe I did do nothing wrong in the end after all. I will let you all know in a little while after I have done more research what is going to happen, right now I am just happy that I have a bit more time to do some more research, hopefully hubby will agree on waiting as well and that your suggestions Hilary will make a little difference.

[Maggieinnh]

Thank you for that suggestion Seaweed! I will try to find that organization here in the US and see if they can help me further, I am sure they can arm me with more info!

[Seaweed]

Also your ds's future partner will be alot happier with you if you avoid it! It wierded me out big time when I found out about circing & it very very much changed how I saw my ex m-i-l. I never had a very good opinion of her before but that definitely ripped it for me. It also seems to be an american thing that they are going to need it anyways so you may as well do it when they are babies :nut:
http://www.noharmm.org/

[Maggieinnh]

Thank you Seaweed!!!
This web site is amazing, exactly what I was looking for!!! They even address specifically the ballooning part of the intact penis in young boys. Yay, I am over the moon and it will help me in convincing hubby to wait it out longer, and not to take what the urologist said too serious.
Thanks so much!

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

The other warning sign with this :flamethr:urologist came about when he mentioned to my husband on the side that he also is the robotic surgery guy in the hospital, ...'surgeons' beware of that lot!

:blinkee:

:trainwreck:

[bbrandonsmom]

OMG-robotic surgery guy-lol. That's funny but's it's not. I had dh guard ds1 when he was born and we put huge notes all over him to not circ the child. The nurses thought it amusing, while I did not, because the dr still asked if we were going to do it. I wanted to whack him with a shovel!
The US does seem to be all about the invasive. I know a mom who is Jewish and she got very irate over finding out we signed the petition to get the Male Genital Protection bill passed. The ironic thing is, I showed her scripture where they state that circumcision was to only be a small cut-not the whole foreskin cut off, and she accepted that. I have two friends who said they did and and would never do it again or recommend it done to a child. My in laws didn't do it, and I think she said it was because she didn't see a reason to-there was no point. I think there is still a battle between the medical communities here in the US on whether is should be mandatory or not to circ. I know a few years ago insurances quite paying for the procedure, stating it was cosmetic, not medically necessary. That might have changed.

[RandomName]

The ironic thing is, I showed her scripture where they state that circumcision was to only be a small cut-not the whole foreskin cut off, and she accepted that.

What verse is that? (could be useful, thanks!)

[Katie™]

Coming into the thread a bit late but I just wanted to let the OP know that not being retractable into teen years is totally normal. I have an 8 year old who isn't yet and an almost 4 year old who is. It just varies by person. Ballooning is quite normal during the process of separation, as well is a bit of discomfort as urine passes out of the separating foreskin, like an open wound stings a bit when you get something on it. I'm glad that you were able to find answers and avoid unnecessary surgery. The U.S. is still quite behind the times as far as foreskin knowledge goes, unfortunately.

[Ayla]

Coming into the thread a bit late but I just wanted to let the OP know that not being retractable into teen years is totally normal. I have an 8 year old who isn't yet and an almost 4 year old who is. It just varies by person. Ballooning is quite normal during the process of separation, as well is a bit of discomfort as urine passes out of the separating foreskin, like an open wound stings a bit when you get something on it.

Yep, ITA. No one should be touching boys or girls genitals except themselves through normal play and exploration, anything else is dangerous and could cause problems. Ballooning is also normal.