Body Part thieves.

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

This is scary - have you been a victim too?

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked porridge, whose were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire Summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My bottom was next.

I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new bottom was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realised I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.


WARN YOUR FRIENDS!


P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

[3monkeys]

This gang has just started visiting me....... I might need to lock the doors from now on :)

[Ayla]

:LMAO::LMAO:

[MinorityView]

Darn! I knew there was some reason I've got this ugly load of flab around my middle. Someone stole my waist and replaced it with a bunch of fat.

Must be a division of Merck, right?

[Nirvana]

:LMAO::LMAO::LMAO::LMAO:

Darn these thieves! Wish I could get my boobs back :giggle:

[Seaweed]

:ROFL:too funny. I'll definitely be sleeping with the axe by my bed.

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

:ROFL:too funny. I'll definitely be sleeping with the axe by my bed. What? And get arrested for dismembering a body parts thief? :p :alien: :giggle:

[Serephina]

:eek: :LMAO:

[magical1]

:giggle:

Words fail me for a change.... Might have to go and change my Tena Lady. hahahahaha :LMAO:

[Seaweed]

What? And get arrested for dismembering a body parts thief? :p :alien: :giggle:
By your age, I would expect you to know where to hide the body :D

[3monkeys]

I think they came here last night. I woke up this morning and instead of a nice flat tummy someone from Dunlop had left their mark instead......... Its times like these I would have prefered one of those little space saving ones......

[MinorityView]

This is where organic gardening comes in handy. We should all have several large compost heaps at various stages at any given moment. Just tuck the body under one of the heaps. I wouldn't apply the results on the kitchen garden, but it should be okay for your flowerbeds.

Perhaps you should reconsider the axe as the murder tool, though. Messy. I'd recommend a lethal injection, myself.

[Seaweed]

:LMAO:I wonder what the half life of those lethal chemicals would be?

[MinorityView]

Ya mean they might kill your flowers? No!

[Seaweed]

Yes my poor heritage roses, we could not have anything happening to Tipsy Imperial Concubine :giggle:it's probably only the same amount of lethal chemicals in 10,000 vaxes & we know they are safe so I am most likely worrying about nothing ;)

[MinorityView]

are we getting Off Topic?

Ah, right, body part thieves. No, we are right on track.

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

Tipsy Imperial concubine? Yes we must protect that one at all costs...

as for the others... lethal injection...
I know, you could bury them under your loads of :ride: seaweed... that might antidote it...

[Seaweed]

Tipsy Imperial concubine? Really is a heritage rose. I think it qualifies as a tea rose. it is very beautiful too. http://www.rereviewed.com/thedeepnorth/?p=159

[natalie_sage]

:eek:

Readers realise that there are actually people in the world who really do drug and harvest the organs of others to profit on the black market, don't they? And rob the graves of the deceased for body parts. It's serious and it's disturbing :(

[Seaweed]

Readers realise that there are actually people in the world who really do drug and harvest the organs of others to profit on the black market, don't they? And rob the graves of the deceased for body parts. It's serious and it's disturbing :(

I know about the first bit but would question the second part as my understanding is the organs etc have to be pretty fresh to be of any use.

[MinorityView]

I've also heard that there is a considerable market for dead bodies to use in physician training. There was an article about it in Harper's or Atlantic Monthly or somewhere like that.

But if no one ever kidded about a topic because it has a serious side, there would be a terrible humor deficit.

For example, people can die because of vomiting to excess. And yet we do joke about throwing up. And people's lives are ruined because of bankruptcy, but there are jokes which turn on this topic, too.

At which point I'm going to share my one and only joke, which should be told in a Jewish accent.

There was a poor Jewish man living in a village somewhere in Eastern Europe. One day he buttered a piece of bread and then it slipped from his hand and landed on the dirt floor of his cottage, butter side up. He was amazed at this extraordinary happening, so after eating his bread, he went and told the rabbi what had occurred. The rabbi was puzzled, dug through his small collection of books, tugged at his beard and finally told his questioner to go to a village a ways down the road and ask the wiser rabbi who lived there.

The man walked to the other village and asked his question. The rabbi looked through his larger collection of books and tugged at his larger beard, but was also stuck for an explanation. He sent the man on to a large town, where there was a rabbi who was famous all over the world for his wisdom.

In the town the man wandered around in amazement. He had never seen big buildings or wealthy people wearing beautiful clothing. He finally found the rabbi and asked his question. The rabbi thought for a moment and then smiled, gently, and said: "You buttered the wrong side of the bread."

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

And while there's much to be serious about terrorism, as an Irish person, I have no problems pointing out that more often than not, when an Irish person is asked to go blow up a bus, they come back with black soot all around their mouths...

[MinorityView]

Excuse me, but you live in NZ and you were, I think, born in Scotland. So how are you an Irish person?

Probably the same way I'm Jewish. The last religious Jews on both sides of my family were my great-grandparents.

[Seaweed]

I've also heard that there is a considerable market for dead bodies to use in physician training. I knew about that too but was suffering from tunnel vision on the organs thing. I probably should have been in bed by then :rolleyes:

I'm amongst quite a few other things jewish, scottish & irish too!

[MinorityView]

well, I have some cousins who are part scottish and some second cousins who are half chinese on top of everything else, oh and some cousins by adoption who are Native American.

But I'm jewish, I guess.

People have sure been mixing it up the last hundred years or so.

Which reminds me of a strange book I read. Nietzche's (sp?) sister was a wild-eyed anti-semite and married to a rampant anti-semite. The two of them went out to Paraguay to found an Aryan colony of pure-blooded Germans. It wasn't a success. But the odd thing about the choice of Paraguay was that the country had the most totally scrambled blood lines of any country in S. America, which is a continent with a tendency towards mixing it up anyway. Bizarre place to try and found an Aryan colony.

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

Excuse me, but you live in NZ and you were, I think, born in Scotland. So how are you an Irish person?

Probably the same way I'm Jewish. The last religious Jews on both sides of my family were my great-grandparents.

Long story. as you know my family tree goes back to 1500. On my father's side, my family originated in county Cork and were driven off their land by the English invasion. Became merchant traders, bankers, and bakers as well, and were dispersed over the world.

On my mothers side, they too originated from ireland according to the family folk lore... ethnically, apparently, I'm Irish. I'm no more scottish than I am a New Zealander. :giggle: how's that for confusing?

[Momtezuma Tuatara]

Though I am entitled to a Scottish passport...

[magical1]

Family trees now eh? can I have a wee skite??

My family tree goes directly back to Henry plantagent . confirmed.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_II_of_England

My mum has been doing research for the last three years, thought we were a boring old lot and then wham bam we are related to the royals...not that it is probably a good thing but if you read the wikepedia writings about Henry he was a mad exerciser.... just like me and my big brothers.

:LMAO::LMAO::LMAO: